I have been meaning to blog about this, and today
was the day. I woke up at 5:00 am with a twinge of irritation about the
liberties that people allow themselves when offering parenting advice. So, I
decided, today is the day when I will write something so profound that it will
find its way into child psychology books. So here it is folks! This post is
really about people who feel the need to push their parenting advice on others.
It is about those who just can't understand
that everyone has the right to pave their own parenting path. This post is
about those people who smirk at the mention of cloth diapering, elimination
communication or the fourth trimester theory. It's about the "wait and
seers" as I like to call them. I mean, how much could a first time mother
know, right? Nothing, I know nothing except for the fact that I loathe people
who attempt to place parenthood in a box. Those are the same people who will
most likely judge me for admitting to eating sushi during pregnancy.
Listen ladies and gents, I get it, you've had one
or two or three or 10 children already, and I respect that. Believe me, I
do! I am listening, and will take your advice, even the unsolicited kind. I
will mull it over and apply the aspects that make sense to me. Unless you use
phrases such as "well this is how it is", "wait and see",
"so and so does this and it is so stupid". The moment that you utter those words
know that I have already tuned you out, or I am most likely preparing for
combat fueled by hours of research about parenting topics that matter to me. I
find myself very fortunate to be pregnant in Spain and to have advice stemming
from several different cultures. I have my mother, and friends whose opinions
most matter to me. Most recently I have been fortunate to meet a new group of
first and second time mamma's whose advice I value. This group of ladies share
their stories and advice freely; they do not push their opinions, and are
without judgment. I hear their experiences about pregnancy and birth, I ask
questions and I receive advice, and find comfort in the fact that 'they' know
what I am going through. Do I follow every parenting tip I have ever
received? No, I take the advice that makes sense to me and file it away for
later use in my "Dominick" folder.
I have researched parenting theories and topics
that are of interest to me, and I chose accordingly. Just because I chose to
use cloth diapers now, doesn't mean that I will not change my mind after the
first blow out, or wash. But, I am willing to try, and it isn't a topic that is
up for debate, more particularly with people whose only argument about cloth
diapering is "it's unsanitary". If you are going to argue with me
about my choices at least do us both a favor and GOOGLE it, because going off
of what the diaper companies have put into your head isn't a valid argument.
Now, I realize that cloth diapers are not for everyone, and I completely
respect that. All I am asking for is for a little understanding that YOU cannot
be sure it will not be right for me. Comments such as "that's stupid"
or "how could you believe that" really make me think that you have
most likely confined yourself to your cultural upbringing, and it makes me that
much less likely to listen to anything you have to say.
So the point of this blog is to remind everyone out
there, that although I realize that parenting cannot be summed up in any one
theory or book. I understand that I may very well be proven wrong and may one
day laugh about posting this blog. Nevertheless, this is our journey, John's
Dominick's and mine, and we will learn as we go. I will continue to ask
questions and feel thankful that I have people to answer them. So before you
tell someone that "you will never enter another museum again" think
about the fact that not all kids dislike museums. We are products of our
parents so why would I limit my child just to Disneyland or water parks when I
can expose him to the world as I was. We all find our way as parents
eventually, regardless of how scary it is in the beginning, and as our children
grow we will find comfort in the support we receive. Rather than judge one another we should
understand that everyone's parenting experiences will be different. My choices do not make your choices wrong, and vice versa. I respect everyone's decisions as their own and refuse to place judgment on someone who is just doing the best that they can, because in the end we are all vulnerable beings struggling to be the best parents for our children. So if you
chose to utter, "you will see" or "that's how it
is" or if you begin to place judgement on others choices, please know that I have probably already escaped to a magical world
where puppies and unicorns play freely and have already disregarded your comments.
Thanks for reading! :)
